This is a blog about abuse and how abusers use the feeling of belonging to groom their victims. If you are a survivor of abuse, you may be triggered. I hope you will find comfort and healing as well here, and that this blog will help you on your recovery and healing journey.
One way abusers use to groom and control their victims is by giving them a sense of not belonging, of not fitting in, and being different and a feeling of being outside the box when everyone else is inside, of being alone. These are devastating and very damaging feelings to the human psyche, esteem and confidence and development. They cause real and deep pain, sadness and anxiety. Bullies and abusers further instill these beliefs with continuing the bullying, shunning and abuse thoughts with actions.
The beliefs these tactics create make targeted victims very vulnerable to abuse and self destruction. This is why abusers target and groom their victims. They seek those who feel left out, different, and make them feel included and loved. Then they abuse them and often, due to the grooming, get away with it. Its why including victimized, bullied people, giving them a sense they belong and fit in is one of the best ways of healing and helping them and humanity as well.
To those who don’t abuse, it seems just crazy, but to those who do abuse, they fully understand what’s going on. Mental and emotional abuse is like a vise grip closing off a person’s reason, beliefs and the ability to hope, love, trust and care and to grow up and have a life.
The truth is unless you’re evil or feeling or doing bad things, there is always human acceptance, belonging and love for you. It is true. We all belong and we all need to and can. It’s the hardest thing sometimes for a victim of abuse to try and find, and there will always been mean people and abusers in the world. But by trusting and trying, we can learn to ignore the mean, and to avoid and escape the abusers. There is alot more good than bad in the world, and with good is really where we all belong and will find acceptance and belonging.
I hope for all who have the pain, anxiety and depression that comes from being told you can’t fit in or belong, you will find the people, community and love in the new year and beyond, that will let you know you do belong, do fit in and are loved. Human love and community is a powerful thing, alot more powerful than the hate, sin and selfishness of abuse. By finding and accepting it, letting it help you, you can become stronger and be able to help yourself and others. Its how we strengthen ourselves, and connections to each other and humanity, and how we can easily, beautifully erase any hurt hate has given us. So seek love, give love and that’s how to fit in and belong to humanity.
